This Means Nothing
by blaackmagiic
Summary: My interpretation of Clary's feelings during the meeting with The Seelie Queen (02x14) and the love triangle drama. ONESHOT (might continue)


**_My first Clace fanfiction. I am so attached to this story, world and the books so I hope more than anything that I can do this justice. This is mainly based from the show more than the books but I played it out with the knowledge of those book characters in my heart too so it all ties in together in a way. I hope ya'll like it and please let me know what you think! x_**

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" _This means nothing."_

Clary watched Jace nod, it was barely a movement but it was a movement nonetheless. She couldn't bring herself to look at Simon. Partly because he was struggling, the vines had wrapped around his limbs and clearly began to tighten. He was uncomfortable, borderline pain, and Simon's pain gave Clary a pain of her own to see him like that. But she could do something to stop it, she could help him with his physical pain. But the emotional pain waiting around the corner made her hesitate.

" _The kiss that will set them free is the kiss you most desire."_

The Seelie Queen was cute, small, and innocent- _looking_. But in reality, she was manipulative, clever and malicious. Clary wanted to run away; she wanted everything to just stop or at least slow down. She wanted more time just to think out her actions and options. But she couldn't. The vines grew longer and stronger. She tried not to, but she began to picture them begin to bruise skin and crush bones. Her heart hurt. She couldn't watch that happen to Simon or to Jace, especially if there was something she could do. It was horrible and potentially damaging. She loved Simon, with all her heart, she felt as though she had since they were kids. They were so close, he helped her, made her laugh, and made her feel needed and cared for. He'd do anything for her and she'd do the same. Of course she loved him. Right?

And then there was Jace. They hadn't known each other half as long as her and Simon. But there was something there; a strange bond that lit her up inside. He protected her, was always looking out for her, teaching her, making her feel cared for. As well. Lies had brought them together, torn them apart, and then lead to this uncomfortable stage of not knowing. And all Clary wanted to do, was ignore it. She didn't want this new found information that they weren't related to get in the way of the way her world was going now. She had Simon now, she always had but this time meant more.

Clary looked at The Queen, dumbfounded and stuck. It was like auto-pilot switched on and her legs carried her over to these two boys that meant so much to her in different ways. She kissed Simon. Then held her breath, waiting for the release and the wave of relief to hit them. What she most desired, of course, was him. She wanted to kiss him because she loved him, she wanted it to be him, she wanted to put him before anyone, and she didn't want Jace or anything else to get in the way of them. That had to be it.

Nothing happened.

Her heart thumped against her ribcage painfully, anxiety threatening to make her sick.

"Why are the vines still here?" Clary demanded, masking the panic with confusion.

"Why do you think?" So confident, so cocky.

"I did what you asked." Her heart grew loud in her ears but not a beating, it was like hearing a crack and she imagined the vital part of her snapping unevenly down the middle. Her chest ached with guilt and panic. She knew now what The Queen meant, what she needed to do, but she was scared. This could ruin everything, it could ruin her relationship with both boys, especially with Simon. It would hurt him and that would hurt her and there was just so much pain. And then the physical pain flashed in realisation at her. They were dying. There was no choice.

She kissed Jace, and he kissed back. The image of herself pulling away so casually and quickly was so strong, she forgot that it was exactly that, just a picture in her mind. Her lips were still on his, her hand on his cheek, his own finding her hair. Her heart began beating again and everything else was forgotten.

She broke apart and the cracking unclouded her judgement all over again. She felt broken, saw the same feeling in Simon's eyes and then found Jace's. His were full of confusion but there was something else, there was a spark of desire reaching out to her and cradling the remaining pieces of her heart as it yearned for life. He wanted to swoop her up in his arms and claim her as his own, but he didn't. Because he cared that much, he couldn't do that to her in their situation because of the knowledge of how it'd do much more harm than good. The vines went limp and dissolved back into the ground and everything was silent. There was nothing that could be said now, the damage was done.


End file.
